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juni 7, 2010 - Leave a Response

So it’s been a while. I still don’t know what to write about, I still don’t know where I’m going with my life, and I still don’t how to deal with it. I’m just gonna give this a try, to write something personal that won’t just end up among the drafts.

So I haven’t told you much at all about it, but I went to South Africa  a couple of months ago. And the people I met there, came over here a couple of weeks ago. I found friends. Not just any kind of friends, but close friends. We really connected there and so we did even here. It’s friends that I want to see again but that I’m afraid I’ll lose. There’s so much distance and so much happening all the time even when I just sit here by my kitchen table doing nothing that makes our friendship harder to keep.
I’m scared. Scared that we’ll lose contact, scared of not being able to follow through with returning the when-we-meet-again-gifts we gave each other, scared to forget everything they taught me.

Maybe I’m just holding on to what I know, because they played(play) an unpredictable part of my life and I’ve got even more of unpredictable coming at me right now in my life. Maybe that’s why I’m scared.
Nevertheless, they mean so much to me and I hope I’ll never lose them. I hope all those words weren’t just an imaginable vision but words that will actually mean something in the future.

(I dared. You might not think of this as much, or even important but putting this in words means a lot to me.)

L.O.V.E

januari 23, 2010 - Leave a Response

Excuse me little homie I know you don’t know me

januari 22, 2010 - Leave a Response

this particular picture was taken by this flickr-user,
but if you want to catch some of my stuff, check it out right here (and i actually have another link there, but it’s on my profile). Hope you enjoy it!

(……..)

januari 20, 2010 - Leave a Response

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean this blog to show the negative parts of my life.
I wanted this to be something else than a place where I say the things that I don’t dare saying to their faces.

Sorry,

How did it happen?

januari 20, 2010 - Leave a Response

I thought you cared more about me. You’re supposed to.
Sure, I minimize myself so that you guys can concentrate on K and Yourselves, ’cause that’s what’s more important right now. But how can I have become invisible to you, when I’m still here?
How do you not notice me,
how did you not hear me,
how did I pass you by?

Lost?

januari 14, 2010 - Leave a Response

It’s like I don’t know where you are anymore.

These streets will make you feel brand new

januari 9, 2010 - Leave a Response

beautiful boyI hope this is what my life will look like one day. A sunny day with lots of joy, love and living. (And hopefully, I’ll have someone to share it with.)

Fifty people.One question

januari 8, 2010 - Leave a Response

This project is one of my all time favourits. It’s fascinating how people become so honest, how they get back to who they are, how they step away from this facade that is what everyone and themselves including, think of them. And how they do this, infront of a camera.
I think it’s beautiful.

PostSecret: Confessions On Life, Death, & God Teaser Video from Benjamin Reece on Vimeo.

You can watch the whole thing, and read responses from people all around the world, right here

Where are you now

januari 4, 2010 - Leave a Response

I don’t think there’s been a single time in my life when I’ve actually known what I wanted to do with myself.
Thinking I’d turn into a dolphin trainer just because I liked dolphins doesn’t count.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my life.
And it’s kicking my ass.

december 31, 2009 - Leave a Response

They’re talking about blogs in the kitchen. The new guy, my sisters friend Robert, asking everyone if they had a blog. First he turned to E, then to K, then to F, and while the last one answered I stepped into the other room.
I don’t know why it’s so strange to me to acknowlege that I have one.
On the other hand, I do know.
I’m ashamed of it because I don’t know why I have it. It started out as a favour to my friend (a friend who doesn’t even bother anymore) when I didn’t really know what it was. I don’t know what I should write about, I don’t know what others and myself are expecting me to write. I don’t know how I’m gonna let loose with it, cause I’m scared that people might judge me.
It’s silly and pathetic, I know.
Maybe I should just step right out there. Out of my fear.

Maybe.

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